TECHNIQUES I USE

Although I have used many of the neutralizing techniques listed on the Approaches page, the main 6 techniques that I currently use to identify and resolve my childhood trauma are described below.

BodyTalk

This technique can be done while walking, sitting or lying down.

One day, at work, I spontaneously did this while walking around doing my job, and it resulted in neutralizing an anchor.

I didn't even know I was upset about anything, when I started. I was simply checking in with my body.

This technique also works if I have a specific trigger in mind.

This technique is a bottom-up approach because it starts by focusing on a physical sensation in the body.
Sensations are connected to emotions and stories.

This is how the technique works:

Silently ask your body, "Hey, Body, how are you feeling?"

Your attention will naturally be drawn to a physical sensation somewhere in your body.
Allow yourself to fully feel this sensation...

As you give this sensation your attention, you start to notice an emotion.
Allow yourself to fully feel this emotion...

As you give this emotion your attention, a memory might surface.
Gently observe it...

This memory might be followed by others.
Follow this stream of consciousness,
Gently observing all the memories that come up..............

After a while, you begin to notice that this trip down memory lane is revealing connections between events in the past and recent events in your life...

You might see a lifelong pattern emerging...

A significant issue in your life is now being illuminated...

You can clearly see that an old program has been running on the hard drive of your subconscious mind.
You understand where this program came from and that it is no longer relevant or needed.
You can let it go now...

This old program is being uninstalled from your subconscious mind...

Your system is being updated...

You feel lighter... freer... perhaps even filled with joy....

Deeply Acknowledge

Ben Ralston says that trauma is about survival (safety).
He says that any being, when subjected to a perceived threat, reacts by trying to protect itself against the threat, trying to be safe, trying to survive.
To let go of trauma, Ben says we need to peel back the layers of safety we have been holding onto.
He says we can do this by deeply acknowledging the very first reaction we had.
Then we can complete the trauma instead of staying stuck in the survival instinct, which protected us at the time.

Ben talks about that in this 10-minute video:
How to release or let go of buried feelings and suppressed feelings?

My takeaway from what Ben says in the video is a technique I call "Deeply Acknowledge".

Option 1:
I think about what I feel upset about and then ask myself, What is the central problem?
Or What is the underlying fear beneath the problem?

Then I insert that problem or fear into the following two statements:

1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between __________________ and lack of safety.

2. It is safe now to __________________.

Example 1:
The problem is my friend does not understand me.

I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between [not being understood] and lack of safety.
Or I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between [being misunderstood] and lack of safety.

It is safe now to [not be understood].
Or it is safe now to [be misunderstood].

Example 2:
The underlying fear is that I will be rejected.

I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between [being rejected] and lack of safety.

It is safe now to [be rejected].
Or I am safe now [even if someone rejects me].

Option 2:
I identify my survival reaction and insert it into the following two statements:

1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between safety and __________________.

2. It is safe now to __________________.

Example 1:

I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between safety and [staying silent].

It is safe now to [speak up].

Example 2:

I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between safety and [people-pleasing].

It is safe now to [stop trying to please others].
Or it is safe now to [focus on pleasing myself rather than pleasing other people].

These statements update my system, which changes my subconscious program/script.

This technique can sometimes stand on its own, but I ususally pair it with the Breaking Agreements technique below using the same issue (handle).

Occasionally, I use all of the remaining neutralizing techniques on one issue.

Breaking Agreements

I insert the issue (handle) into the following two statements:

1. I no longer agree that it is bad to __________________.

2. I no longer agree that I am bad if __________________.

Example 1:

I no longer agree that it is bad to [be misunderstood].

I no longer agree that I am bad if [someone misunderstands me].
Or I no longer agree that I am bad if [someone does not understand me].

Example 2:

I no longer agree that it is bad to [be rejected by someone].

I no longer agree that I am bad if [someone rejects me].

Example 3:

I no longer agree that it is bad to [speak up].

I no longer agree that I am bad if [I speak up for myself].

Example 4:

I no longer agree that it is bad to [be displeased].
Or I no longer agree that it is bad for [others to be displeased].
Or I no longer agree that it is bad if [someone is displeased with me].

I no longer agree that I am bad if [I have displeased someone].
Or I no longer agree that I am bad if [someone is displeased with me].

This technique was inspired by what I read in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

To sum it up, when we were kids, many adults told us a bunch of untrue stuff in order to get us to behave how they thought we should.
I think most of these adults were well-meaning. Perhaps some were not.
Either way, by complying with what they said and trying to be "good", we essentially agreed with them that how we naturally were was "bad".

Now we can break all those agreements, freeing us to be who we really are, instead of how other people wanted us to be.

This technique can stand on its own or be added on at the end of any other neutralizing technique.

Protector Update

I once heard Thomas Hubl say that trauma freezes time, and that really stuck with me.

This technique evolved out of my understanding of that and of Parts (from Internal Family Systems) and use of a reframing exercise called the Graduation Exercise.
(See the Approaches page for info about IFS and the Graduation Exercise.)

I found that I can liberate the internal parts of me that stepped up to protect me long ago when I was a vulnerable child simply by verbally updating them.

When I discover a story or old belief or old strategy for meeting my needs that no longer serves me, but I can't seem to let go of it, then I know that a part of me is still using that story, belief or strategy to protect me.

I speak directly to this Protector part of me.

"Thank you for your dedicated service all these years.
You have shown tremendous perseverence in trying to keep me safe by ______________________________.
[e.g. driving me do everything in my power to get others to understand me, so they will like me - or at least not hate me]

That helped me survive in the dysfunctional environment I grew up in.

I am an adult now, and my life circumstances are very different now than they were back then.
I no longer need you to do this service anymore.

Thank you so much for all you have done for me!"

First Time (Vulnerable Child)

Thinking about a current triggering event, I ask myself a series of questions.

What am I feeling?

(At first, I needed to use a feelings list to help me identify my feelings.)

When was the first time I ever felt this feeling?

A. I acknowledge every experience that comes to mind.

I wait for the first time to surface.
Eventually something really old comes up (from my childhood), and I intuitively recognize it as the original, very first time.

(I do not always need to have a direct memory of what happened, to resolve it. One time a story I was told about something that happened when I was two years old came to mind, and I immediately recognized that was the unresolved root trauma.)

B. I give myself empathy.

[e.g. "I was so young, when that happened! Of course I was overwhelmed! That was so difficult, confusing and painful for such a small child to deal with all alone!"]

What unmet needs did I have at that time?

I give myself more empathy.

Why were my needs unmet?

I examine what my child self's interpretation was of what happened.

I re-evaluate what happened, applying my adult understanding to the situation.

Knowing what I know now, as an adult, I examine what was going on in the lives of the adults around me at that time.

I usually discover that I have been living with some unnecessary fear and erroneous beliefs about myself, other people, and the world as a result of my limited child-level interpretation of what happened.

This technique evolved from a little bit of knowledge I had of Teal Swan's Completion Process and a Vedic Completion Process and is similar to something referred to as a Regression technique, which asks the question, "When was another time that I felt this way?".

(See the Approaches page for info about Teal Swan's Completion Process.)

Experience De-Resonator

Once I have identified a past experience (my own or that of another) that I do not want to resonate or identify with anymore, I say a series of statements to clear away any residue (resonance).

Process Overview:
I state the experience (what happened), and then I say the statements listed below, pausing between statements for as long as I want to notice and reflect on whatever comes up.
Sometimes I pause for a few seconds, sometimes for several minutes. It is a very intuitive process.
I move onto the next statement when I feel complete with the current one.
Before moving on, I often jot down a few notes about what came up (sensations, emotions, thoughts, memories, images, insights, etc).

1. State the experience.

2. Say the Statements:

Everything that led up to that happening happened.

Everything that happened is over, and all the origins of it are healing now.

I no longer resonate or identify with that (experience) or with anything that led up to it.

All the places in me where that has been stored are healing now.

I might add a variety of other statements here, if I feel like getting more specific.

For example...
All the places in my physical body - in my DNA, cells, bones, organs, hair - where that (experience) has been stored are healing now.
All the places in my mental body - in my conscious mind & subconscious mind - where that has been stored, are healing now.
All the places in my emotional body - in my chakras & auric fields - where that has been stored, are healing now.
All the places in my causal body where that has been stored are healing now.
All the places in my energy body where that has been stored are healing now.

All the areas of my life that have been affected by that (experience) are healing now.

All of my relationships that have been affected by that (experience) are healing now.

All the effects that (experience) had on me are healing now.

In the process of doing this, I often have deeper insights into the causal factors of the experience and the effects it had on me.
I often get a sense that the patterns involved go back many generations.

This technique naturally evolved for me out of repeated use of the TAT™ (Tapas Acupressure Technique) and some other energy healing concepts.

(See the Approaches page for info about the TAT™.)