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DE-ESCALATION TECHNIQUES

Usually, Safety Cues are enough to de-escalate my triggered state, so I can then focus on uncovering and neutralizing the past trauma.

If I need or want to do additional de-escalation, I choose one of the techniques below.

It is best if the de-escalation techniques we use match our state (and, of course, our individual needs and preferences).

Sympathetic Dominance (Survival mode) has 2 main states: activation and shutdown.

Activation (Fight or Flight mode) is a high energy state.
There is a lot of energy, anxiety, or frustration.
We probably need an energetic de-escalation activity to match.
A bubble bath isn't a good match for a high energy activation state.
Going for a walk, dancing, exercising or listening to loud music would be a better match.

We are designed to go in & out of Fight or Flight quickly (in minutes or seconds).
Taking a 10-minute break can work wonders, if I am in fight or flight mode.

Shutdown (Freeze mode) is a very low energy state.
It is not the time to do something that has a lot of energy.
In shutdown, a bubble bath, quiet solitude, journaling, or working on a creative project alone might be a good match.
Complete silence might also be necessary, since any sound can be over-stimulating, and therefore irritating, in shutdown.

Freeze response is a more extreme survival reaction, and it takes a lot longer (often hours) to come out of Freeze than it does to come out of Fight or Flight.
It typically takes me 2-3 hours to come out of freeze mode, and that is when I am using de-escalation techniques.

De-escalation is unique to each individual.
Movement and nature might be very regulating for one person.
In activation, it could be a long hike in the mountains.
In shutdown, it could be a very slow walk around the neighborhood.
But walking might not work at all for someone else.









BURN OFF ADRENALINE - for Fight/Flight

In an activated state, like fight or flight, doing an energetic physical activity (anything that would normally tire me out) can quickly burn off the adrenaline, allowing my thinking to become clear again.
(When I am adrenalized, this activity will not feel tiring at all.)

  • Walk - short, long, slow or brisk
  • Hike
  • Jog (Running isn't the best because it imitates the flight response)
  • Workout
  • Hit a punching bag
  • Ride a bicycle
  • Go for a long motorcycle ride
  • Listen to loud music
  • Shake (e.g. shake arms around)









SOLITUDE - for Freeze

In freeze, all of the following feel like a threat...

  • Eye Contact (looking at or sitting directly across from someone feels awkward)
  • Proximity (anyone nearby feels like a threat)
  • Sound (even sounds that normally feel calming or soothing might feel abrasive)

We need to spend some time (several hours) alone, in a quiet (perhaps even silent) environment to allow our nervous system to come out of a freeze response.

While we are waiting, we can change attention...

  • Apply Heat (heating pad, electric blanket)
  • Breathe (slow, deep breathing helps, or 15 minutes of Circular Breathing)
  • Do some Havening, Tapping, and/or Self-Hugging
  • Moan & Groan to help get energy moving
  • Stretching/Yoga (doing this on a regular basis helps combat chronic nervous system dysregulation)
  • Feel the Feelings (feelings come in 90 second waves and reveal our true needs)
  • Journal
  • Read a book or a blog
  • Work on a Puzzle
  • Do Something Creative
  • Spend Time in Nature
  • Take a slow walk
  • Anything else that distracts us and puts us in a positive state of mind









CIRCULAR BREATHING

To counteract the tendency to hold our breath when stressed, we can practice 15 minutes of circular breathing.

  • Breathe in and out naturally (not deeply) for 15 minutes, without pausing between the in and out breaths.









JOURNALING

Getting all of our feelings and thoughts out on paper can help us sort through the mess in our head and figure out what the underlying issue is and/or what our current upset connects to in our childhood.

What does this remind me of?
What pattern from the past is repeating itself?









POSITIVE INPUT

Reading or listening to something uplifting and/or inspiring can help us shift into a more positive state.

  • Pamphlets
  • Books
  • Blogs
  • Audio Books
  • Podcasts
  • Speakers
  • Sermons













CREATIVITY

Getting completely absorbed in a creative project can be a very effective way to de-escalate our nervous system (or distract ourselves from a craving), changing our state from negative to positive.









RHYTHM

One way to de-escalate the limbic system is by grounding.

Rhythm is very grounding. (It reminds us of the Heartbeat we heard in the womb.)

  • Music
  • Drum Beats
    Drum beats are very calming and grounding to the nervous system.
    (The slower the beat and the lower/deeper the pitch, the better, if I am in a triggered state. If I'm not, then faster and higher pitched beats feel wonderful to my nervous system, too.)
  • Binaural Beats (headphones are required as the beat alternates from one ear to the other)
  • Side-to-Side Eye Movements (without moving the head)
  • Bilateral Touch (Cross arms - alternatively pat each upper arm or shoulder) (Alternatively pat the top of the thighs with palms of hands)
  • Breathing
  • Walking
  • Jogging
  • Running
  • Tapping
  • Counting
  • Coloring
  • Drawing









SPEND TIME IN NATURE

We are part of nature, and the sights, sounds & smells of a peaceful natural environment send safety cues to our brain.

Spend some time in a yard, park, nature preserve, near water or in some other soothing natural environment...

  • Sitting
  • Walking
  • Hiking
  • Listening to the Wind in the Trees
  • Listening to or watching birds
  • Listening to waves (the ocean, a lake or a pond)
  • Listening to a crackling camp fire or wood-burning fireplace or stove
  • Earthing (Walking Barefoot on the ground)
  • Touring a Garden
  • Gardening
  • Doing Yardwork









UNISON/SYNCHRONY

Doing things in unison or in synchrony with others sends Safety Cues to our nervous system.

Some Examples:

  • Singing
  • Playing Music
  • Dancing
  • Swimming
  • Exercising
  • Jogging
  • Rowing









LOVING PRESENCE

Connecting with a person, who is feeling safe, can send safety cues to our brain.

Being alone can feel extremely scary, when we're facing overwhelming emotions.
Connecting with a loving presence can be immensely helpful.

Talking to a neutral person, who isn't involved in the triggering situation and can be impartial, can be very helpful.

Find someone, who

  • Is a good listener - attentive, attuned, patient and non-judgmental.
  • Can provide validation and empathy.
  • Can direct us in utilizing techniques to de-escalate our triggered reaction (regulate our nervous system).

Added bonus if they

  • Can intuitively ask good questions that lead us to uncovering our own answers.
  • Can provide a new perspective and help us reframe our situation.
  • Can help us sort through our jumbled thoughts to find the most relevant thing to focus on.
  • Can help us identify and neutralize the underlying unresolved trauma from the past.
  • Have a calm soothing voice, which sends safety cues to our nervous system.













imovebeyondtrauma@gmail.com


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